Omega just doodled before trying to make a webcomic. For all the world to see.

Alpha Isn't Quite Down, Yet

Omega has been bothering me for a while to post. Well, aside from a failed hard drive and academic probation, I've been lazy. Well, school is starting in a few days for me and I couldn't be more excited. I have an interesting class load and I'm almost done with my first bachelor's.

I'd like to not make this post a reply to Omega's last post (with the exception of noting that I'm 21 years old and I prefer if my anus remains untouched, thank you). Instead, I'd like to talk about douchebag roommates and life in general. Well, one of my roommates decided he wanted to move out. That's all fine and dandy; I mean, we kind of had a falling out at the end of the semester anyway. But the way he handled it was unprofessional. The reason why I say this was because while I was hustling to find a replacement, he decided to try and force me out of the club I started. Here's the full story:

Housing:
We agree at the beginning that he finds a replacement if he wants to move out.
He says he wants to move out during finals week.
He doesn't want to move out until after the semester begins.
If he moves out even one day before February 1st, he wants all of January's rent back.
He refuses to have his rent prorated in the event that I find a replacement to move in before the end of January.
He fails to communicate anything to me (when he plans on moving out, etc). I had to find this out last minute, on my own.

Club:
As Vice-President, he demands I do things his way.
As a representative of the executive board discussing club issues, he refuses to be professional in anything he says or does, even after repeated requests from me, the President and Founder, to be professional.
He claims I'll run the club into the ground if I don't change immediately.
He threatens to quit if I don't change.
In the past, I've given him opportunities to run the club, and both times have failed.

Now, I bring this up not only to vent, but also ask: What the fuck? Given, I have a bias in this because I'm on the receiving end of this, but I've been raised to be an adult at all times and be professional. We're in college and we're getting in hang of how life can be, I get that. But if this is the type of people we're pumping out of our universities, our future is fucked.

Is it just me or do I honestly believe that if there were more Alphas and Omegas in the world, things would run a little more smoothly. Instead, we're going to have dickwads like stated above attempt to run things. The art of negotiation has been thrown out like a prom night baby. Professionalism has been spit upon like a homeless man. We need to revives these entities and establish a future worth trying in. If the "real world" is anything like people like previously stated, I shouldn't have even gone to college. I shouldn't have even tried to graduate high school.


On a lighter note, I've been watching "Jersey Shore". That show is a train wreck. I shouldn't stare, but I can't look away.
Also, I'm attempting a webcomic, as well. I haven't decided if it'll be continuous or single strip. Maybe a little of both.


"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin

Alpha is Down. Omega Has Risen.

I've discussed with a good friend of mine this late night all the in's and out's of these sexual escapades we call our late-teen to college years. I'm definitely an "outlier" by many standards, but I think theres a lot about sex that people aren't discussing.

To get a quick summary, you shouldn't do anything you want to do sexually. You should be calm, communicate openly, and have the sex you want to have without forcing anyone else to do anything they don't want to do. This is a fantastic general rule that does a moderately good job of getting the point of what sex is across.

The other big point is to Be relaxed and do what you want. To a lesser degree I think, the message is indeed "Keep an open mind" and quieter still is the "Don't knock it till you've tried it" banner-wavers. But I, Omega, am not satisfied with any of that advice wholesale nor piecemeal; and have decided to add my own two cents into the fray.

I pose the following to the reader: Have you ever watched weird porn for the sake of weird porn? I don't mean something bland like "Pirates" or as off the deep end as "Two Girls, One Cup." (Apologies to those that find either of those erotic and kudos to those who find both erotic) I mean, how many times are you "curious" enough to try to not only watch but ENJOY the porn? (Enjoy See: Masturbate to)

This is personal experience, and that doesnt account for much, but save for two very particular sexual deviations, most of what i enjoy that strays off the beaten path has come about from sexual exploration. Yes, hours upon hours of watching porn. Most of that time trying to find the eroticism that other people see in it.

Whats the fun in "trying something" just so you end up not liking it? From my experience, lots of people "try new things (sexually)" much in the way that Post Civil War south tried out life without slavery. They feel compelled to say they're trying, but you totally know they'd go back to familiar territory if given the chance.

My advice is: try to enjoy more stuff sexually. Stick stuff up your butt, touch yourself to strange naughty exciting things. Sock fetish? for sure. Pierced nipples on guys? why not? midget porn? You sick fuck. enjoy. If you're older than 19 and you haven't had each of your orifices sexually explored, you're lazy. I'm constantly surprised by how many people leave themselves unmolested.

It's 5:30 am. I really need to get out of this habit. I'm watching VH1, my rant will turn away from sexuality towards my hatred for Owl City. Indeed the spring from which my hatred flows is located down in the Everdeep. The pressure and dimensions my hatred may shift into are unpredictable yet also unmistakable. The lyrics of Owl City are almost satirical. He synthesizes far too much for my liking, but the song fireflies is honestly more parody than song. "Its hard to say I'd rather stay awake when I'm asleep because my dreams are literally bursting at the seams"? It's mundane. Especially when things like Pandora and other music providers list it as in league with Postal Service or Bloc Party or Imogen Heap. Fuck my life. It's childish by comparison.

In other news. When i get back into the swing of things, I'll be trying my hand at a Webcomic. Yes it will suck, but maybe it can kickstart this site back into generating some traffic. Also, the attempt at a back and forth Post structure for this Blog is henceforth abolished. I, Omega, will post unabashed from now on whether Alpha keeps up or not.

(Honestly, he's probably just forgotten.)

"It wasn't until I started reading and found books they wouldn't let us read in school that I discovered you could be insane and happy and have a good life without being like everybody else."
— John Waters

Zombie Cup.

I have a favorite song that I lie about because it's meant for girls. I'm the guy who'll laugh hardest at inappropriate times, only because I'm so uncomfortable with myself. Try very very hard to keep what I say in order, since i rarely do it myself. If I'm really really tired, my imagination, emotional stability, sanity might be a little less than okay to be around. I'm really good at hiding it. I talk to my dog. My dog talks back. I tell everyone I'm a nerd, but really i feel safer with a plastic army watching over me as I sleep. I feel really close to a person than when I'm sitting with them playing videogames or watching a series on my computer. Don't let people know that. I'm a music snob, even if I try not to be. I DO like that i dont need a survey to do this, though I'm doing it because I'm tired.

I love being Omega.


BESIDES THAT: Zombie Apocaplyse, I'm going to do whats necessary, even if its unpopular. If you're going to follow me, you're going to agree and believe the following:

You are not going to be a zombie.
You ARE going to fight to the death.
Contamination of a limb will result in the loss of said limb. (bit to the arm means a hatchet to the next joint up.)
Traps loaded with bait will be used if necessary.
Hair will be cut, clothes will be standardized, and weaponry will be assigned.
Any and all evasion tactics will be used. (track blazing. bleach baths, and if necessary corpse decoys)
All human survivors are to be preserved. All zombies dealt with, no exceptions.
Until your worth is shown, ranged weapons are kept for those better suited for it.
You're going to eat what's given to you, without questions, and you're going to finish it.

Survival is rarely pleasant. But it's better than being the living dead.

Omega: The Majority of people have lost the ability to argue.

And I think its because the majority of people don't understand math. Specifically, Algebra. See, by and large Algebra is a persons first exposure to variables, and process in which to turn a variable into a functional constant is crucial to life in general.

In math, we understand that a problem cant be worked out farther until the pieces have been labeled and defined for further utilization. In debates, or (I would hope) arguing in general, breaking things down into pieces and working things out is called logic.

Note, I know that term is thrown around a fantastic deal, but I mean it in the driest way. The way we break things down is by utilizing Syllogisms, or logical appeals. Thus, we have to assume that a person has an appropriate amount of logic to be able to create and throw out actual syllogisms.

More often than not, people don't examine what others say very carefully. Our brains are wired to react far more readily than scrutinize. And for many people, they can win arguments by stumping people in the black hole of False Syllogisms. Now, more than just the innocent "some A are B, and some B are C" people are quick to assume automatically that "some A are C" which, at times, is not true at all. Example:

Some cats(A) are black(B), some black(B) things are televisions(C) and it doesnt make sense that some cats(A) are televisions(C) now does it? People can do this ALL the time when discussing people and they fall into that gray area of blending and being vague.

Whats worse, is the other forms of failed argument, and we all know them, insults, appeal to social norms (which we'll discuss in a minute) creating associative terms, etc etc.

So lets ask a question: Is it okay to hit a child? (Aged:9-4 lets say) (Oooooh, this will be fun won't it?)

Now, outside of an absolutist's standpoint of: No! Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will I EVER hit a child! and (the far funnier) Yes! Under EVERY Circumstance I will ALWAYS hit a child! We can use logic to shape some sort of answer, (I will hopefully not divulge my personal feelings here and simply state the possibilities.)

First, "okay" is intentionally vague to add a web of complexity, so lets throw three more specific synonyms to replace "okay":
A.) Socially Acceptable,
B.) Morally Right,
C.) Intelligent (hehehehe)

These are all conditional, but at least we have 3 things we can branch off now. We can define "Hit" to be more specific as well, lets use:
"Violently stop"
"Physically Correct" and
"Assault" (like reaaaally wail on the little bastard.)

Again, conditional (kinda), So lets put three specific situations that might come up with a gamut of all 6 possibilities. These can be:
$.) Gunmen have put you (and the child you retarded hippies) in a life or death situation and have ordered you to hit the child.
@.) A deaf and blind kid has guns glued to his hands and you have to stop him with your hands glued into the shape of fists. (Since many of you would go "there has to be some other way!" you damn hippies, so its for HIS own good okay?)
%.)He's gathered a group of 10 of his malicious bastard kid friends and they are going to attack and perhaps try to maim you. (Like, lose a leg kind of thing)

Situation $: will probably be socially acceptable if you do mean Hit to violently stop(1) the situation, though physically correcting(2) the child for putting you two in that situation might be pushing it, and if you're just going to town on the poor little thing, you should get some counseling. Morally right (A) is up for the reader I'd imagine, and Intelligent will probably be a yes (since striking is not as bad as dying I'd think we can all agree) all around; even really pummelling that kid if you think it'll make the gunmen believe you (yeah sure, THATS why you are still thinking about hitting him again) And Intelligent? Kinda.

Situation @: Will likely not fall into the category of socially acceptable even if you use both 1, 2 or 3 as your definitions of "hit" (because of you damn hippies who previously "insisted" on there being some other way you judgemental bastards). Morally right(B) will be for the reader to decide, 1 or 2, (though correction should stop that kid from ever wanting to touch a gun or anything ever again.) And I guess if you thought Deaf blind kids deserved to really be beat on you could consider 3. Intelligent? sure, The situation (and the narrator) has set the situation up for you to logically choose smacking him to understand "bad" is happening right now if you do 1 and 2. 3 will also get the job done, but its not intelligent because you'll end up beating the Hellen Keller potential right out of them.

Situation %: Like anyone will ever believe you under any circumstances 1-3 that a group of kids were gonna beat you up and take a leg. Morally right? 1-2 for sure I'd imagine, and 3 I'd give the go ahead if you caught one of the kids after hopping after him with your one leg. Intelligent? now, going on personal preservation as at least a general inclination for intelligence, sure. Though thats also personal for you and you might think differently.

Now, you might say That I wrote a whole bunch and didnt actually get very far. But I think I show that I got somewhere. Addressing a large group is hard, so you have to take baby steps. People having a conversation can find out a lot very quickly. So long as they accept that they MAY be wrong. which is a huge first step for lots of people. Anyway, for those nice enough to read this all the way through, let me ask a few questions:

You have a son/daughter, 9-13yr old. They will either be raped (Like, RAPED) by two STD-free strangers; or you personally must have incestuous relations (all sorts of fluid exchange) Both options must fill up an entire nights of events.

General starters: Rape is often considered traumatic, but might not be the worst thing ever. You assumedly love your child, though this will probably mess them up somehow.

For those of you really thinking about it: Does it REALLY matter what gender the strangers are? or what gender your KID happens to be? What if its not drugged raped (might not remember?) vs struggling raped? is that better than the at least kind of positive spin you could have about it? What if they told you their preference? On the one hand, they're kids, but on the other, are you going to go through with their answer if its different from yours?

Anyway, Roommates and I discuss things like this at length. (using LOGIC!)


(This is going to be hilariously awful for you.)

Erg

I, Alpha, lie here a broken man. The ice cream truck has officially cockblocked me. As my girlfriend ran out of my room to buy ice cream, I thought to myself, "Where did I go wrong?"

She came back and hope sparked into me. She then demanded money. My heart sank. She ran out again.

She came back once more. My heart destroyed. She said "fuck the Ice Cream Man". She subsequently tackled me.

Air Horns Should Never Be Sold

Sorry for my long leave of absence. Omega has been yelling at me to blog for months now. I’ve been too busy studying, partying, sexing, and academic probationing.
Recently I went to my little brother’s graduation. He graduated from high school and, well, I’m honestly surprised. After my mother was pulled over in his car and subsequently arrested for trafficking marijuana, I honestly did not think he’d be living. Yeah, you read correctly. My little brother’s drug problem got my mother arrested. But that’s beside the point. Omega and I were sitting there watching the graduation. We both graduated from the same high school, but three years previous. We saw how our future was laid out before us. These children will run this country after us, and I could only think one thing: we’re fucked.

I know, it sounds pretentious of me to say that I’m better than an entire graduating class, but I am stating it here. With more than five valedictorians in this class, I am eager to see many of them turn to binge drinking and drugs in their first year of college. That’s not even the worse part. I was just amazed at the number of air horns in the stadium. What the fuck? Is yelling and cheering because your child graduated really going to make them succeed more? Does that make those many missed baseball games or dance recitals all okay? Does cheering louder and being obnoxious during a ceremony meant to usher them into college really going to make those bruises (physical and emotional) go away? No, fucktards. This isn’t the end of the line. If they only graduate from high school, NEVER cheer them on. You’re supposed to promote them and foster their abilities, no say “yay, you made it this far, I’m super proud of you”. Say something meaningful like, “you better get to college and not fuck up by getting an art degree”. Also, I may have still been in my shell when I graduated from high school, but I could write better speeches than those idiots. Even the faculty had subpar things to say. I just hope I can speak at my graduation so I can say what needs to be said.

Something like this: “I know many of you will be leaving this field today with your family rejoicing. That’s fine. Have your parties and celebrations. Four years of hard work have really paid off. But keep in mind, a successful person does not just do four years of hard work and then hope everything comes easily, they keep working. Many of you will realize that your classes taught you nothing. That’s to be expected. Our school systems suck and need improvement. But don’t look back and say there’s nothing you can do. Fix it. How? Not with what you learned in the classroom, but what you learned from me. From him. From her. From the people you meet on a daily basis. Even a person you met only once. Those are where you will learn problem solving skills and necessary facts. But you will never get that kind of education in a class. You need to live college, not just attend it.”

That’s just part of a speech I just made up. You get the point. Alpha out.

"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."
- Peter De Vries