Saturday, July 18, 2009
Zombie Cup.
I love being Omega.
BESIDES THAT: Zombie Apocaplyse, I'm going to do whats necessary, even if its unpopular. If you're going to follow me, you're going to agree and believe the following:
You are not going to be a zombie.
You ARE going to fight to the death.
Contamination of a limb will result in the loss of said limb. (bit to the arm means a hatchet to the next joint up.)
Traps loaded with bait will be used if necessary.
Hair will be cut, clothes will be standardized, and weaponry will be assigned.
Any and all evasion tactics will be used. (track blazing. bleach baths, and if necessary corpse decoys)
All human survivors are to be preserved. All zombies dealt with, no exceptions.
Until your worth is shown, ranged weapons are kept for those better suited for it.
You're going to eat what's given to you, without questions, and you're going to finish it.
Survival is rarely pleasant. But it's better than being the living dead.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Omega: The Majority of people have lost the ability to argue.
In math, we understand that a problem cant be worked out farther until the pieces have been labeled and defined for further utilization. In debates, or (I would hope) arguing in general, breaking things down into pieces and working things out is called logic.
Note, I know that term is thrown around a fantastic deal, but I mean it in the driest way. The way we break things down is by utilizing Syllogisms, or logical appeals. Thus, we have to assume that a person has an appropriate amount of logic to be able to create and throw out actual syllogisms.
More often than not, people don't examine what others say very carefully. Our brains are wired to react far more readily than scrutinize. And for many people, they can win arguments by stumping people in the black hole of False Syllogisms. Now, more than just the innocent "some A are B, and some B are C" people are quick to assume automatically that "some A are C" which, at times, is not true at all. Example:
Some cats(A) are black(B), some black(B) things are televisions(C) and it doesnt make sense that some cats(A) are televisions(C) now does it? People can do this ALL the time when discussing people and they fall into that gray area of blending and being vague.
Whats worse, is the other forms of failed argument, and we all know them, insults, appeal to social norms (which we'll discuss in a minute) creating associative terms, etc etc.
So lets ask a question: Is it okay to hit a child? (Aged:9-4 lets say) (Oooooh, this will be fun won't it?)
Now, outside of an absolutist's standpoint of: No! Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES will I EVER hit a child! and (the far funnier) Yes! Under EVERY Circumstance I will ALWAYS hit a child! We can use logic to shape some sort of answer, (I will hopefully not divulge my personal feelings here and simply state the possibilities.)
First, "okay" is intentionally vague to add a web of complexity, so lets throw three more specific synonyms to replace "okay":
A.) Socially Acceptable,
B.) Morally Right,
C.) Intelligent (hehehehe)
These are all conditional, but at least we have 3 things we can branch off now. We can define "Hit" to be more specific as well, lets use:
"Violently stop"
"Physically Correct" and
"Assault" (like reaaaally wail on the little bastard.)
Again, conditional (kinda), So lets put three specific situations that might come up with a gamut of all 6 possibilities. These can be:
$.) Gunmen have put you (and the child you retarded hippies) in a life or death situation and have ordered you to hit the child.
@.) A deaf and blind kid has guns glued to his hands and you have to stop him with your hands glued into the shape of fists. (Since many of you would go "there has to be some other way!" you damn hippies, so its for HIS own good okay?)
%.)He's gathered a group of 10 of his malicious bastard kid friends and they are going to attack and perhaps try to maim you. (Like, lose a leg kind of thing)
Situation $: will probably be socially acceptable if you do mean Hit to violently stop(1) the situation, though physically correcting(2) the child for putting you two in that situation might be pushing it, and if you're just going to town on the poor little thing, you should get some counseling. Morally right (A) is up for the reader I'd imagine, and Intelligent will probably be a yes (since striking is not as bad as dying I'd think we can all agree) all around; even really pummelling that kid if you think it'll make the gunmen believe you (yeah sure, THATS why you are still thinking about hitting him again) And Intelligent? Kinda.
Situation @: Will likely not fall into the category of socially acceptable even if you use both 1, 2 or 3 as your definitions of "hit" (because of you damn hippies who previously "insisted" on there being some other way you judgemental bastards). Morally right(B) will be for the reader to decide, 1 or 2, (though correction should stop that kid from ever wanting to touch a gun or anything ever again.) And I guess if you thought Deaf blind kids deserved to really be beat on you could consider 3. Intelligent? sure, The situation (and the narrator) has set the situation up for you to logically choose smacking him to understand "bad" is happening right now if you do 1 and 2. 3 will also get the job done, but its not intelligent because you'll end up beating the Hellen Keller potential right out of them.
Situation %: Like anyone will ever believe you under any circumstances 1-3 that a group of kids were gonna beat you up and take a leg. Morally right? 1-2 for sure I'd imagine, and 3 I'd give the go ahead if you caught one of the kids after hopping after him with your one leg. Intelligent? now, going on personal preservation as at least a general inclination for intelligence, sure. Though thats also personal for you and you might think differently.
Now, you might say That I wrote a whole bunch and didnt actually get very far. But I think I show that I got somewhere. Addressing a large group is hard, so you have to take baby steps. People having a conversation can find out a lot very quickly. So long as they accept that they MAY be wrong. which is a huge first step for lots of people. Anyway, for those nice enough to read this all the way through, let me ask a few questions:
You have a son/daughter, 9-13yr old. They will either be raped (Like, RAPED) by two STD-free strangers; or you personally must have incestuous relations (all sorts of fluid exchange) Both options must fill up an entire nights of events.
General starters: Rape is often considered traumatic, but might not be the worst thing ever. You assumedly love your child, though this will probably mess them up somehow.
For those of you really thinking about it: Does it REALLY matter what gender the strangers are? or what gender your KID happens to be? What if its not drugged raped (might not remember?) vs struggling raped? is that better than the at least kind of positive spin you could have about it? What if they told you their preference? On the one hand, they're kids, but on the other, are you going to go through with their answer if its different from yours?
Anyway, Roommates and I discuss things like this at length. (using LOGIC!)
(This is going to be hilariously awful for you.)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Erg
She came back and hope sparked into me. She then demanded money. My heart sank. She ran out again.
She came back once more. My heart destroyed. She said "fuck the Ice Cream Man". She subsequently tackled me.
Air Horns Should Never Be Sold
Recently I went to my little brother’s graduation. He graduated from high school and, well, I’m honestly surprised. After my mother was pulled over in his car and subsequently arrested for trafficking marijuana, I honestly did not think he’d be living. Yeah, you read correctly. My little brother’s drug problem got my mother arrested. But that’s beside the point. Omega and I were sitting there watching the graduation. We both graduated from the same high school, but three years previous. We saw how our future was laid out before us. These children will run this country after us, and I could only think one thing: we’re fucked.
I know, it sounds pretentious of me to say that I’m better than an entire graduating class, but I am stating it here. With more than five valedictorians in this class, I am eager to see many of them turn to binge drinking and drugs in their first year of college. That’s not even the worse part. I was just amazed at the number of air horns in the stadium. What the fuck? Is yelling and cheering because your child graduated really going to make them succeed more? Does that make those many missed baseball games or dance recitals all okay? Does cheering louder and being obnoxious during a ceremony meant to usher them into college really going to make those bruises (physical and emotional) go away? No, fucktards. This isn’t the end of the line. If they only graduate from high school, NEVER cheer them on. You’re supposed to promote them and foster their abilities, no say “yay, you made it this far, I’m super proud of you”. Say something meaningful like, “you better get to college and not fuck up by getting an art degree”. Also, I may have still been in my shell when I graduated from high school, but I could write better speeches than those idiots. Even the faculty had subpar things to say. I just hope I can speak at my graduation so I can say what needs to be said.
Something like this: “I know many of you will be leaving this field today with your family rejoicing. That’s fine. Have your parties and celebrations. Four years of hard work have really paid off. But keep in mind, a successful person does not just do four years of hard work and then hope everything comes easily, they keep working. Many of you will realize that your classes taught you nothing. That’s to be expected. Our school systems suck and need improvement. But don’t look back and say there’s nothing you can do. Fix it. How? Not with what you learned in the classroom, but what you learned from me. From him. From her. From the people you meet on a daily basis. Even a person you met only once. Those are where you will learn problem solving skills and necessary facts. But you will never get that kind of education in a class. You need to live college, not just attend it.”
That’s just part of a speech I just made up. You get the point. Alpha out.
"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."
- Peter De Vries
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Omega: Some notes on Sexual Hygiene
First off, aesthetically, trim/shave at least SOME of one's pubic hair. This goes to both men and women.
To any women who say "I dont like shaving because it makes me feel like a little girl" Thats fine, have your stylistic choice, but one's pubic hair is not at all attractive when it's overgrown into the hip and leg region.
And men as well: For fucks sake, you're probably hairy enough as it is. It's not attractive, or rugged, it's just unkept and gross. Now, Im not saying everyone needs to shave everything off, (though its my personal preference) I understand different people have tastes, but men's pubic hair can really get out of hand, and look ridiculous. My suggestion would be to take small clippers and trim the hair around your pubic area to at least half of its current length. Doing such wont make that big of a difference besides show off more of the actual penis. (Arguably the only attractive thing down there) Also, girls notice those few rogue hairs growing along your shaft men, and its gross and creepy. It's not hard to shave those off, or take the pain like a man and pluck them out with tweezers.
More to the nuts and bolts though, to uncircumsized men: What the fuck? pull that skin back, take some soap and clean that out. DAILY. And dry THOUROUGHLY, everyday. Maybe even twice a day. Middle of the day, taking a leak, roll up some Toilet paper and dab that little guy.
And women: Theres tons of articles an magazines on the subject about a woman's odor down there and how it's "a natural germ-garden" that keeps out infections and such, and that the acidity keeps you from all sorts of problems, but to any sexually active women: just because cum drips out of you does not mean ALL the cum has dripped out of you, and you should be in the shower with a finger perhaps cleaning that out. Im not saying to douche, because that's invasive and I get that, but take a removeable showerhead, and your good hand, and take care of that. A guy who's been sleeping with you regularly will notice that your smell has changed during sex. Thats because the cum from last time changed the bacteria in there from last time and thus produces a different smell.
Anyway. I don't think sex isn't without its primitive charm, and I don't think penis should smell like old spice or a pooglie will smell like a rose bouquet, but we are humans, and the whole "au natural" thing is a bullshit excuse for laziness.
So lets take pride in our bodies, especially the fun sexual parts. They often end up being our best representatives and you're in denial if you don't think people judge you by them.
-Omega out.
"Smeg is dick cheese?" -Bewildered mother on a sex advice Forum.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
The Omega hurdle.
I'm the black belt that didn't get enough sleep to win a fight.
I'm a genius that cannot stay focused enough to write a coherent thesis.
Theres nothing I can't do academically. I excel conceptually and structurally whenever I remember to attend class. Which is fundamentally the most difficult thing to deal with. It's dreadful, and I'm constantly stumbling through because of what a uniquely retarded habit I have of skipping class. It's a big mis-step though, and what I find most troubling is the constant brain melting mush that passes for education here.
And I've found the root of it: So many people here do not choose their words carefully enough. They rely on apathy/contextual understanding to get their points across when their points are riddled with loosely installed words that don't adequately describe the real point. For example: I'm in a politial science course, and they're discussing the "Jihadism vs The McWorld" And I start refuting the terms. What do they really mean by that? Is the world so black and white that everyone either is the soulless corporate whore under the Mcdonalds whore or the Islamist Terrorist? Well no no, they assure me, but I should understand what they MEAN.
But that's not my job, its their job to define their terms and use adequate terminology to get to an actual discussion. All too often this happens in classes:
Professor: What do you guys think? Is democracy really a fundamental right?
Kid1: I think so, I think everyone should have a right to vote in their governments.
Kid2: But if you have no food in your stomach, what does a vote do for you?
Kid3: I don't really think its a fundamental right, those are to be free or live.
etc. etc. etc.
Professor: *chiming in on another kids blatantly biased, unfounded, retardedly useless opinion* well then blah blah fucking blah I use my phD to cut down an easy, off the cuff idea by someone who hasn't been trained to think logically on their feet.
Looking back, the problem was only compounded in Highschool, since there was never ANY moderator. The educational system is so much more of a "all ideas are good ideas" bullshit place and a Socratic method of "are you SURE you even know anything"?
And I love the Socratic method, but there's nothing more dickish than using it to exemplify everyone's ignorance. Why? Because we all fail the test eventually; we're all ignorant of so much, but at least you can see where and how far some people have thought about their opinions. It cuts down those that have little more than penny for a pound opinions.
Anyway. If anyone ever reads this and takes heed. Don't fret, it's not really people's lack of intelligence, its just a lack of upper guidance. Classes are random assortments of people, and without a certain amount of steering it becomes a mess of gibberish and useless tangential comments during discussion. That's the professor/teacher's fault for maybe not really understanding it themselves.
And that's why I skip class so much. But fuck, it hurts me either way. My soul if I go, my degree if I don't go. Bloody Hell.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Alpha Alpha Alpha
But speaking of networking, it shouldn't have to come down to that. We shouldn't have to join frats or sororities for their networking advantages. I mean, we should be able to meet and greet individuals on our own. There are some people that have no social skills, and should suffer because of that.
I have two 4 midterms next week, so I'm making this short and taking a short hiatus. After them, I'll tell you about the paper-on-man rape.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Ares Rising: Omega Returns
It's total bullshit. You should rest assured, if there appears to be no criminal behavior in your area of experience, its more likely true that the criminals among you are good enough that they've never been caught.
In other news, I am incredibly pleased to be spending time with a wonderful girl. She's like-minded in certain ideas, but came to those conclusions using a completely different logic and its incredibly refreshing. I'm smitten. And thus a grand experiment is about to unfold. Until recently, I had been tweaking my body image to be thinner than my natural average. However, now that I am in "impress female" mode, we'll see what I can do.
Current Height: 5'11 Weight: 140lbs. (this is coming down from my last summer high of 162lbs, when I had been swimming and running regularly.)
My goal is to get up to 150 about, and I have until April 2nd to do it. Fighting fit as they say, and I'll tell you if this modification pleases the women-folk. Besides that, if I hit my target weight, I'll post my exercise regimen, because 10 lbs in 7 days will be an impressive feat for someone of my body shape.
Omega Out. And in. and out. and in again, and out again.
"If the thought of something makes you giggle for longer than 15 seconds, you are to assume that you are not allowed to do it." -Something my mother told me. (It was in Church, guess what I decided to believe.)
Monday, March 16, 2009
Alpha in late; bouncing back
(8:58:18 AM) Omega: write in that FUCKING blog
(8:58:30 AM) Alpha: Hey
(8:58:32 AM) Alpha: Fuck you
(8:58:34 AM) Alpha: How about that?
(8:58:36 AM) Alpha: You like that?
(8:58:40 AM) Alpha: Here, have another
(8:58:41 AM) Omega: no fuck you
(8:58:41 AM) Alpha: Fuck you
(8:58:49 AM) Omega: lazy fuck
(8:59:11 AM) Omega: Im gonna post as you, and tell the people the truth about alpha, "I'm a lazy fucking cocksucker"
(8:59:33 AM) Omega: hows that gonna feel?
(8:59:45 AM) Alpha: Is that really what our blog is going to become?
So here I am. I’m going to write about what I think of Omega’s last post. Fuck retarded women. My ex-girlfriend fucked me up badly. She turned me from an idealist, helpless romantic to a realistic douche bag. Finally, when she more or less forced me to get rid of her, I attempted to be single for a while. I worked on my school work. I worked on my extracurricular activities. I enjoyed life. But as I became lonely, I attempted to court women. Here came a big problem. I bend over backwards for women. When I like a woman, I will do what I can for them. But this is the problem. Women are idiots. They don’t realize it. They find a nice guy that is better than the others, but they will never date them. This pushes us away. I hate being taken advantage of, and women seem to love to do it.
I was nice to this one girl whom I liked for a while, but she ended up not being able to drop the douche bag she was with. Here’s the kicker: she knows I’m better than he is. She knows this. She even said she would drop him, but never did it. But she keeps me around to do her favors. Fucked up? I think so.
Another example is this one girl who no longer talks to me. I was cordial with her. I liked her. I tried to date her, but she never put down those insecurities that prevented it. I talked with her about these insecurities, and she now no longer talks to me. Do I know exactly why she stopped talking to me? Nope. She just started to ignore me. She’s supposed to be more mature than me. What the Hell is this shit?
So I had an experiment going a bit ago. I was a complete asshole to her. She still called back for more. The problem is, I never made a move. She’s a whore anyway, so I’m glad I never did. But it turns out, if I’m an asshole, I tend to get a female’s attention more so than if I’m a good guy.
Ask any woman what type of guy they are looking for. They will tell you that they want a nice guy. I’ve done this before. Then I looked them in the eyes and say “I’m a nice guy, would you like to watch a movie with me?”. Their answer: You’re a great guy, Alpha, but you’re too much of a friend.
Luckily, I played all of my cards right in my final attempt of getting a girlfriend. She’s an awesome girlfriend, so please don’t think I’m bitter. I’m writing this to let all of you female readers to know:
Fuck that “we’re just friends” bullshit, go for the gold
Ignore those douche bags. If you’re tired of being treated like shit, then go for the nice guys
Do you see that nerd? Go for him. You’d be surprised at how happy you may be.
Don’t encourage those douchebags. Just…just don’t do it.
Oh, and one last thing: Fuck that ladder theory.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Omega - Tip of the Sword
Friday, March 6, 2009
Family values
(4:53:33 PM) Alpha: So
(4:53:59 PM) Alpha: I was told to go pick up my little brother in Saratoga from my mom and sister
(4:54:01 PM) Alpha: So I did
(4:54:26 PM) Alpha: What they didn't tell me was that I was supposed to go to Redwood City to go pick up my mother's van from the mechanic's
(4:54:55 PM) Alpha: So I get home and my little brother asked what we were doing there
(4:55:09 PM) Alpha: Then he told me that we were supposed to go pick up the van
(4:55:24 PM) Alpha: Long story short, I get to hang out however long I want
(4:55:29 PM) Alpha: Because my family sucks
That is a short snippet of a conversation between Omega and me. Well, this post will be on family values.
First, I'd like to talk about this conversation. Although it may seem from this snippet that I hate my family, it is quite the opposite. I love my family. Of course they drive me crazy, but everybody's family drives them crazy. I have driven 2-3 hours just because my mother had a doctor's appointment. I skipped class and work because of it. If my sister needed a ride, I would go out of my way to either provide it myself, or call in a favor from a friend. Family comes first. I can't understand how people can push their family away instantly. Sure, I want to be free from my family, but I can't bring myself to do that. Damn this cultural connection.
Second, I was having a conversation with my girlfriend last night about family. We both come from divorced families. Whereas she has a slightly different story from mine, we have similarities nonetheless. This is at least some ground where we stand together. More to the point, she was arguing with her parents last night. Obviously the best solution to this is to lie to them and make them think they won. Well, that seems to counteract what my story was in the first paragraph. Sometimes, people need to be lied to. I lie to my mother all of the time. Sometimes for my protection, sometimes for hers. If I told my mother I smoked, she'd die. Well, she'd actually die. She's pretty much already dead as it is.
Third, I would like to point out that I am a sucker to culture. I can't explain it, but I feel obligated to follow my culture. Omega and I have had arguments over this on several occasions. I think the best way to understand it is if you read about why Belgium stood up to Germany at the start of World War I.
I'm tired and I'm trying to learn. With that, I'm going to leave you with a quote. Peace.
“There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained.” - Winston Churchill
(On a side note about the fall of society. I tried to Google "Quotes on Family" and Family Guy Quotes kept popping up. This is why I hate people.)
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Omega March 5th
Another AIM conversation
(12:31:48 PM) Omega: especially in brasil
(12:32:03 PM) Alpha: Haha
(12:32:06 PM) Alpha: Brazil?
(12:32:10 PM) Omega: lol yes
(12:32:18 PM) Alpha: Spell it right, fucking Mexican
(12:32:54 PM) Omega: Fuck your shit you dirty arab
(12:32:59 PM) Alpha: Ayrab?
(12:33:18 PM) Omega: no, not an ayraian arab. You're a A-RAB. Sand Monkey
(12:33:40 PM) Alpha: It's amazing how many of our conversations quickly get degraded into racial and ethnic slurs
(12:33:47 PM) Alpha: Beaner
(12:33:54 PM) Omega: Terrorist
Personal versus Business
Imagine this scenario:
You complain about somebody at work about how they do a bad job, that person will look at you like you're a bad person. They will even treat you horribly. The thing is, you never made mention of his/her personal life. You were judging them based on their job performance.
What does this have to tell you about people? This is why I hate them. I am 20 years old. I am a student. How is it that I am more mature than others my age? How is it that I am more mature than others older than me? I realize this is a depressing post, but your opinion, like mine, doesn't really matter.
It's about time...
(1:21:02 AM) Alpha: That's why my penis's name is "The Diplomat"
(1:21:12 AM) Alpha: It makes or breaks treaties
(1:21:21 AM) Omega: lol *name omitted* named mine "The Peacebringer"
(1:21:32 AM) Omega: and my testicles were teddy and franklin
(1:21:49 AM) Alpha: An imperialist and socialist, respectively?
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Omega Helped find a way.
Alpha 2 - The Adventure Continues
I had a nice conversation with my girlfriend last night. I told her I wanted to get to know who she was. Well, it turns out she doesn't even know. This lead to her crying. We sat and conversed about what makes a person a person. I gave her my breakdown of who she is. Apparently, I was almost completely correct. This conversation turned to what really constitutes a person.
There is a difference between what makes a good person, what makes a good friend, and what makes a good boyfriend. I am a good friend and a great boyfriend. Does this make me a good person? Not at all. I'm a horrible person. I cheat. I lie. I steal. I manipulate. And for what? Mostly self gain. I mean, sometimes I do it to be a better friend. I screw over strangers or people I'm not close to so I can make a better life for those I care about.
But let's focus on manipulation. I manipulate people not just for gain, but for shits and giggles. I kid you not; I do it for fun. I like seeing how far I can go before they catch on to my game. Sometimes they never do. But how bad of a person am I? I will help a stranger. I will take charge in an emergency and try to save people's lives. I will put myself on the line for a good cause. But at the same time, I like to see what I have to gain from it. If there's one thing I hate, it's wasting my time and effort.
What people need to do is be able to differentiate between what makes a good person and a good friend. If you want, there's always the third factor of being a good significant other. But for the sake of an easy argument, I will leave that factor out. When you read this, ask yourself: Have I been judging people based on one factor? Or have I been able to divide situations and judge a person based on who they are in those situations?
Just remember, whenever somebody says that they don't judge, they're a liar. Everybody judges one way or another. It's one thing to lie to me, but it's another thing to lie to yourself.
I understand this post was half-assed, but Neurobiology calls.
"Men can starve from a lack of self-realization as much as they can from a lack of bread." - Richard Wright
Omega 2 : 1:30 am.
Monday, March 2, 2009
This is Alpha reporting in
I have my Neurobiology class in about two and a half hours. This is a class in which I really need to study. My political science classes are a joke. I don't do half of the work I normally would for my science classes, yet I will get a better grade in my political science classes. But that's beside the point. I have a fairly busy day today. I have a meeting with a potential writer for my comedy newspaper. I also get to bring my girlfriend to get boba tea and so I can run errands. When I get home tonight, I need to clean my room and go to work. Tomorrow, I deal with the same shit, but different classes. I have to go to meetings. I have to deal with people with whom I don't want. But in the end, it's worth it. I don't get the respect that I deserve and I don't get the attention that I want, but I get to have sex with my girlfriend. And in the end, isn't that what we all want?